Golf Hurts

Golf hurts
Golf hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, par or less
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not fooling me

I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Golf is just a game
Made to make you blue

Golf hurts
Golf hurts

Golf Song: Hacker-hacker-ville

A golf song parody of "Margaritaville"

Using the trap rake
Watching the sun bake
All of my divots covered with soil
I hitch on my backswing
I hack on my downswing
Feel the temp it's beginning to boil

Wasting away again in Hacker-hacker-ville
Looking for my lost Titleist ball
Some people claim that my clubs are to blame
But I know it's nobody's fault

I don't know the reason
I sliced it all season
I got a big driver shiny and new
And it's a real beauty
A Taylor Made cutie
How to use it I haven't a clue

Wasting away again in Hacker-hacker-ville
Looking for my lost Titleist ball
Some people claim that my clubs are to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be my fault

I hit a bad flop shot
It went in the pro shop
I cut a deal they let me go home
But there's beer in my belly
It jiggles like jelly
That malted concoction helps me hang on

Wasting away again in Hacker-hacker-ville
Looking for my lost Titleist ball
Some people claim that my clubs are to blame
But I know it's my own damn fault
Yes and some people claim that my clubs are to blame
And I know it's my own damn fault

Paula Creamer and Cereal

When Paula Creamer was a little girl she thought Cheerios were doughnut seeds.

Tiger Wood's Spontaneous Tackle

Tiger Woods created some laughs by improvising this tackle during the shooting of a Buick commercial.

Y. E. Yang PGA Champion

PGA champ Y. E. Yang
Broke off Tiger's fang
His chip in on the fourteenth hole
Is what Tiger usually does to his foes

Golf Song: Feel Like Playing Golf

A golf song parody of "Feel Like Making Love"

Baby, when I think about you
I think about golf.
Darlin, couldn't golf without you
And your love.

If I had that golden swing of my yesterday
I would meet you
At our courses
And we'd be driving all the way

I feel like playin
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf with you

Baby, if I think about you
I think about golf.
Darlin, if I golf without you
I golf without love.

If I had the sky and sun
and they were shinin
I would give you every day
Golf satisfyin

I feel like playin
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf with you

If I had that golden swing of my yesterday
I would meet you
At our courses
And we'd be driving all the way

I feel like playin
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf
Feel like playin golf with you

The Secret to Tiger's Success

Tiger Woods just won his second straight tournament after missing the cut at the British Open. The last time Tiger missed a cut at the 2006 U.S. Open he won the next two Majors. When asked what he learned from the experience, Tiger replied, "I need to miss more cuts."

A Matter of Convenience

John Daly's lost some weight due to recent lap band surgery. When asked if he tried more traditional ways to lose weight, Daly said that he tried jogging, but the ice cubes kept falling out of his glass.

The Beer Summit

President Obama: Let me break the tension with a statement we can all agree on. John Daly's pants make my eyes hurt.

Dr. Gates: Agreed.

Officer Crowley: I'll drink to that.

Joe Biden: I like John Daly's pants.